Monday, January 23, 2012

Desiderata By:Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Fury...

I stand here filled with, I don't know what. FURY!
So angry, filled with remorse. The thought of being alone terrifies me now.
Consumed with anger, sorrow.
Lord God are some of us destined to be alone, lie decomposing.
Alone God how is this living or a part of life...

How could this be?
I'm so angry, I'm livid as to how you could allow such an end.
This pain, the mourning; unlike any other I've known.

Why do I feel the draining light...
This relentless...











Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sunday afternoon...

Out on an afternoon Sunday stroll this afternoon...

I smelled you today, a whiff of one of the
many scents you possess engulfed my nose, on a passerby.

Fought back tears with a smile...
Instinct was to think of happier times, but nothing.






Sunday, August 7, 2011

I am Drowning...

I can't decide how I feel most days...
I wake up with the highest expectations from any connections made.
Most days let down of course by
cynicism, unwanted sexual advances, even my own lack of focus.

SAD ENDING & GOOD BYE to 17 years of friendship

Distant disappointment...
You turned out to be weaker than I thought...

You can't handle my free thought, my free spirit.
You want not to share me, but I remain on the market.
While you what... Get your dick wet by others, and continue to return to me.
You are that "womanizer" father's warn their daughter's about.
Defended you on many occasions. Which turned out to be more of me enabling you.
Why? Because 17 years means something to me.
If nothing else "friendship" should have been our conclusion.

I've reached my breaking point, as you are
now aware, from the last harsh words I had to share with you.
Seventeen years obviously means nothing to you.


You're clearly aware of my feelings for you (J.J), so much so... You've taken clear advantage.
You lost something good and for you I'm afraid...
How funny is that? Maybe because I have no doubt
I'll find the love & lover deserving of the "TRUE ME".
I loved you unconditionally...You are the very witness.
Maybe a truly blind witness, but nonetheless a witness.

Love will always remain for you.
My view of you and of me now is clearer.

My view was clouded by the "I Love Yous", the continued
sexual encounters, and of course our 17 year history.

Monday, August 17, 2009

LEVELED...

Current mood: high

LAID BACK EASY FEELING

MIND SWAYING, REACHING, BREATHING

LET GO TRAVEL...

FALL RELENTLESSLEY FREE

A BOUNDLESS DRIFT...

CASCADING, ENGULFED, SMOTHERED ENVISION

HALO ENCIRCLED IN ESSENCES OF HOME GROWN, BLOWIN!

O.G'S THAI SLOWS TIME, TRAIN WRECKS RAW RIDE KEEPS A PUSH

LAVENDERS LATIN ROOTS "WASHES" MY THOUGHTS

TAKES YOU INTO HER SERENE NEST AND RESTS YOU

BOMB FILLED, TEQUILLA SEALED


CAN I HAVE A LIGHT?

GOD

Current mood: blank


WHAT IS IT? AM I NOT TO GET AHEAD.

I KEEP TELLING MYSELF IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER.

BUT I'M STARTING TO FEEL THE FALSE HOPE I'M GIVING MYSELF SETTING IN.

WHAT IS IT THAT I'M DOING WRONG?

I JUST CAN'T WIN RIGHT NOW IT SEEMS.

I'M LOST, AT A LOST!

I'VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HURTING MYSELF SO MUCH...

I JUST WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO ESCAPE MY REALITY,

ALONG WITH MANY OTHERS WHO HAS EVER WANTED TO ESCAPE THE HARSH WAYS OF

THIS WORLD!

Good Bye, Farewell

Current mood: crazy

YOU'VE RUINED ME

AND FOR ALL THAT COME AFTER...

MY HEART WAS TO YOU AND NO ONE ELSE...

IF THE IDEA/THOUGHT IS FOR ME TO WAIT...


WHAT I FEEL NOW IS WHAT MANY WOULD CALL THE MOURNING PERIOD...

I FEEL THE UNEASY BALL OF FURY,

THE BLOOD RACING, FLASH BACKS OF WHAT BROUGHT THIS FATE!

I FEEL COLD, LUCID, LIVID, MY HEART WEIGHTED DOWN

FROZEN IN ME, THE DISTINCT FEELING; MORE A RUSH OF ALL AND NOTHING!

F.Y.I


Current mood: bummed

F.Y.I
I WANT OUT OF THIS "SACRED BOND" YOU CLAIM WE HAVE/HAD


F.Y.I
YOU'VE DISRESPECTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME.


F.Y.I
I NO LONGER WEAR BASKETBALL SHORTS AND JORDANS (thanks Darryl for that one)
I VIEW YOU AS THE MAN YOU ARE NOW, NOT THEN, BUT IN THE NOW. STILL I LOVE YOU.

YOU PUT ME ON FRONT STREET, PLAYED HER OFF AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE I STAND SIDELINE AS "WHO". THE ONE YOU CAN BE OPEN ENOUGH WITH TO INFORM ME... F.Y.I I'M BRINGING SOMEONE!


F.Y.I
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? DID YOU THINK I'D NOT CONFRONT YOU...


F.Y.I
I'M A BLACK WOMAN, MAYBE THAT ESCAPED YOUR MIND.


F.Y.I
WHAT'S AUTOMATIC IS EMOTIONS RUN HIGH WITH JUST THAT.


F.Y.I
YOU ARE LUCKY I CAME AT YOU WITH JUST WORDS. YOU KNOW THAT JAMAICAN BLOOD/RAGE RUNS WITHIN ME.


F.Y.I
YOU KNOW LONGER HAVE ANYTHING OVER ME. WE'RE EVEN NOW, SEEMINGLY IS THE GAME YOU'RE PLAYING.


F.Y.I
I'VE NEVER DISRESPECTED YOU! MADE YOU FEEL LOWER THAN THE PEDESTAL I'VE PLACED YOU ON.


F.Y.I
I CHILL THE FUCK OUT FOR NO ONE!


F.Y.I
AN EAR FULL WAS INEVITABLE IF NOT MORE.


F.Y.I
THIS BLOG FOREVER EMBEDDED IN THE WORLD WIDE WEB. JAMAL STANLEY JORDAN/ JAMAL JORDAN IS MARKED IN THE UNIVERSAL WORLD OF SHARON ALEXANDRIA'S BLOG OF PUBLIC SHAME, YOU DIG!


F.Y.I
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK MY MIND!


F.Y.I
SO MANY WAYS THIS SITUATION COULD HAVE PLAYED OUT, AND YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE THE LATTER. HOW COULD YOU BE SO INCONSIDERATE, STUPID, VICIOUS.


F.Y.I
I AM 28 YEARS OLD AND SO ARE YOU. WE ARE NO LONGER KIDS WE ARE ADULTS. OBVIOUSLY MY WORDS WERE NOT HEARD THROUGH YET ANOTHER "THICK" HEADED "JERK"! YEAH I USED IT! JERK!!!



THOUGHT.WE HAD MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER APPARENTLY YOU HAVE NONE FOR ME!







Monday, July 20, 2009

GOOD-BYE, FAREWELL

YOU'VE RUINED ME

AND FOR ALL THAT COME AFTER...

MY HEART WAS TO YOU AND NO ONE ELSE...

IF THE IDEA/THOUGHT IS FOR ME TO WAIT...


WHAT I FEEL NOW IS WHAT MANY WOULD CALL THE MOURNING PERIOD...

I FEEL THE UNEASY BALL OF FURY,

THE BLOOD RACING, FLASH BACKS OF WHAT BROUGHT THIS FATE!

I FEEL COLD, LUCID, LIVID, MY HEART WEIGHTED DOWN

FROZEN IN ME, THE DISTINCT FEELING; MORE A RUSH OF ALL AND NOTHING!